Now that 2020 has come to a close it seems the number one focus on everyone’s mind (besides losing those covid 19 pounds) is decluttering. As someone who has gone through the process of decluttering I would call myself somewhat of a decluttering expert. Three years ago we moved from a 3800 sq ft house with a fully packed basement to our home today, an 1800 sq ft condo. And if our large house wasn’t enough, we also had 10′ x 12′ fully packed storage unit!
Before I share my tips, I want to point out that decluttering is different from downsizing. Decluttering is getting rid of excess belongings that you no longer need, want or love. Downsizing is when you must get rid of things that you still want and love but they won’t fit into your new downsized home. However, before you get to the downsizing part, you must first declutter.
Here are five tips for getting it done.
1.Have a clear vision
Before you start the decluttering process it helps to have a clear vision of the end result. Maybe your goal is an organized home with everything in its proper place? Perhaps you want less things to take care of. For most people, less items equals less stress. In my case, we decluttered with the goal of moving into the city and being free from the demands of a big house.
Whatever your reason, keep the final vision clearly in mind. Maybe even make a vision board with your future goal in photos. It will help remind you why you want to continue on when the going gets tough.
2. Figure out what decluttering style works best for you.
Unless you are the rare bird who can say, ” pull the dumpster up to the back door” and then start heaving stuff into the trash, decluttering takes time…lot’s of time. It’s important to figure out what decluttering style works best for your personality. Basically there are three different decluttering styles.
1. The Marie Kondo method. This celebrity decluttering guru has her clients work on one category at a time. She suggests collecting everything in your house from a single category, such as books or clothes. Lay it all out in front of you. Then evaluate each item and ask if it sparks joy. If not, ditch it and move on. Continue to work on that single category until you have gone through it all before moving to the next category.
I think this works best if you live in a small space. This didn’t work for me at all. We had too much stuff scattered throughout too many rooms and boxes to pull everything out at once from a single category.
2. Declutter by space, area or room. In this method start with one space or area at a time. For example, start with decluttering a closet and them move on to another area. In my case we started decluttering in the basement and worked our way up to the bedrooms on the third floor. I intentionally chose to start in the basement because I knew that area would be the most challenging. We had hundreds of boxes down there that we inherited after the passing of my mother in law and my mom. I knew my decluttering momentum would start to wane so I chose to do the most challenging area first.
3. Declutter using a timer. This works great if you have kids or want to chip away at it over time. It’s pretty straight forward. Set a timer for a predetermined length of time. Have everyone in the household work in whatever space they want until the timer goes off. I have found it helps to set up a regular routine, like 30 minutes every Saturday morning, and schedule it out.
Once you start the process you’ll figure out which decluttering style works best for you. In my case, a combination of two and three got the job done.
3. Chunk down your decluttering
If your job is huge, like mine was, then it helps to chunk it down. For example, we decided we wanted to put the house on the market in one year. We then divided the house up into twelve areas, one for each month. Big spaces like the basement were designated as three areas so we had three months to complete the decluttering. The other nine areas were allotted one month of decluttering each. We kept a tight watch on the calendar and picked up the pace if the designated area wasn’t looking like it would be complete within the time frame. We stuck with it, kept the final goal in mind and finished exactly on time.
4. Three questions to ask if you get stuck
If you are decluttering simply to be more organized and live with less, then you don’t have to get rid of as much as if you are going to be downsizing. In that case, these three questions will help you decide what should stay and what should go.
Do I love it? (furniture, art work, accessories, clothes)
Do I need it? (old tax receipts, waffle iron warranty, 20+ scented candles)
Do I use it? (ten year old treadmill, old tools, clothes 2 sizes too small)
It can also be helpful to make four different piles for each decluttering session. KEEP, DONATE, SELL, and TRASH
5. What I learned
Depending on how much you want or need to get rid of will determine how aggressive you need to be with your decluttering. In my case, I had to be ruthless, knowing I wanted to live smaller and closer to the city. It was the hardest thing I ever did, but it was the best thing I ever did.
I will be honest, it wasn’t easy. I loved everything I owned, so everything “sparked joy”. As you may have heard before, and it was true in my case, my kids wanted NOTHING!
Many treasured collections, antiques, furniture and decorative items had to go. Even as committed as I was, there were still several epic breakdowns and tears.
If this is your year to accomplish major decluttering possibly to downsize, then please know, it will be worth it. Once the pain of loss (and guilt) is over, living with less is so freeing. It allows you to focus on experiences and activities rather than being the caretaker of “stuff”. Should you decide to move to a cottage near the beach or a cabin in the woods, you will be free to move much more readily if you go ahead and declutter now.
Lastly, after being left with two full houses of belongings from our parents, I vowed I would never do that to my children. Remember, for the overwhelming majority of today’s kids, they do not want your stuff. Declutter now and your family and your future self will thank you for it.
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Such excellent advice, Linda! Chunking it down into bite sized pieces is so important to keep from getting overwhelmed! We are drowning in 35 years worth of stuff and even though we have purged many times and many things, there is still a LOT to do!
It seems like a constant project. Now I have the one in one out rule. Otherwise things will quickly accumulate again and I don’t want that!
Hi there I am 75 and have decided to move after 47 years in my home to a smaller and warmer house with a small garden to be near my son and his wife and 2 little girls who are my world. Emotionally it’s hard to think of leaving my neighborhood where everyone and everything is so familiar but I have no choice.
Hi Desna,I can only imagine how challenging that must be to leave your long time home. We moved after 19 years in our home and I thought that was bad! Once the shock and trauma finally leave I think you will enjoy being closer to family and having less to take care of is always freeing. I wish you the absolute best in your new home.
Hi Linda, Thanks for a terrific article. You are an expert on decluttering/downsizing as well as decorating and photography! Lots of excellent advice and encouragement here! Just what I need right now. What is the best way to release things I have lovingly collected and I still love but the kids probably (definitely) don’t want?
Family memorabilia and things we loved were the hardest things to part with. One thing I did which might help you too is this. I would hold it in my hand and ask, “is it worth holding onto this (x) and being responsible for cleaning, storing, and taking care of (x) or would I rather live with less, move forward and feel free?”. With family memorabilia, if I thought my kids would toss something after I was gone then I ditched it. I had a rude awakening when my oldest son, in jest, said as he looked into our huge storage unit, “mom when you die I’m calling in a junk removal company to get rid of all this because I don’t want any of it”. That hurt for sure but it’s pretty much what I did when my mom passed so I understood his comment. That helped keep things in perspective as well. 🤣
I enjoyed catching up with this series, Linda! Many “a-ha” moments to be sure. The biggest obstacles I encounter as a decluttering coach are the emotions that hold us in place with our stuff. This is why my book focuses on how to recognize and release outdated mindsets that make decluttering an unfinished project. And starting Now is the key! Decluttering and downsizing under duress is never pleasant.
Thanks Mary and yes, the mindset part is 80% if not more of the struggle. That’s why it was so helpful to keep focused on why I wanted to downsize and repeatedly question if it was worth it to allow our “stuff” to hold us in place.
Hi Linda ~
Thank you for the sage advice and for making the distinction between decluttering and downsizing. I remember when you went through this process, and how hard and gut-wrenching it was for you. But, the end result looks to have been so worth it, as now you have a perfectly sized home, that functions beautifully for your needs, and is so nicely designed, too!
Thanks Leslie, it is one of the hardest things I ever did but the end result was worth it.
I love this post. We declutter every month, and we are still going. I was surprised to hear my kids both say they want our dining table, which I inherited from my parents. So that will always stay. The timer idea is great…I can lose a whole day without meaning to.
I truly love organizing and being organized. It gives me that feeling of being in control of what I can truly control.
Excellent tips!
Great tips. I think your list of three questions really helps. That is what I will ask myself and if I get three no’s then its gone! Some how there is always more to fill those empty spaces though!
bringing those hHi Linda-
I am sitting at my desk after we have done the whole “downsizing project” 2 years ago. We moved to our new location right as the pandemic hit. We got rid of 2/3 of our things and now I am faced with stuff that we brought that we really no longer need nor should we have moved here in the first place. I, like you and so many others, went through the process of sorting, selling, donating and trashing 20 years of accumulated things. We left our big family home for a totally different experience on a remote sea island only accessible by boat! I think I still have PTSD from the whole experience. It was the hardest thing I have ever done! I find myself bringing those habits and those mindsets of family and responsibility with me to our new location and that has been the hardest thing of all. Moving from Mom mode, who has all things that anyone might need, to understanding that if my adult children forget their toothbrush, then they just wont have one (since there are no stores here) .
The things I kept not only held memories, but were out of a sense that I am the one who needs to provide for the people in my life. The reality is, that in addition to letting go of stuff, I also need to let go of the reasons for the stuff and the accumulation of that stuff. I need a mindset shift for the new life forward and not live in the habits of the past. That has been the hardest of all. Thank you for speaking the true reality of downsizing and living with less in order to move forward. It is a process that doesn’t end with the last donation or bag of trash.
Hi Beth, wow! I don’t even know what to say. It’s hard enough downsizing from a large home to a smaller one but to move to a remote island adds a whole other level of change and challenge.
You should be very proud of what you’ve accomplished. Do not beat yourself up about stuff that still needs to be released. It’s definitely a process and the time frame is different for everyone.
Give yourself some grace and take it one box at a time. I still have stuff to unload but I’m not yet ready. I’m getting there though and thinking by Spring I’ll be ready to tackle the crawl space which is still full of boxes.
I wish you the absolute best going forward!